Not A Pervert

Just imagine the guy in my story looked like this sex shop mannequin head.

Nobody usually notices us in this sleepy town, until tourist season hits.

I didn't think I had an essay in me yet this week, but alas! All I had to do was walk downtown on a holiday Monday. One was waiting for me.

My son and I walked peacefully across our usual park terrain when I felt (superpower) and spotted an older man staring at me as he approached from across a parking lot. With one eye on my kid (another superpower), and one on the person clearly zeroing in on the two of us, I kept chatting about kid stuff.

The guy veered out of my eyeline and my vigilance briefly decreased. Then, after reconsidering, he popped back into my personal space, ready to say something.

Are you ready for it?

“I'm not a pervert or nothing.”

Great start, bud. Saying that in front of a six year old is an especially good call.

“But you have the nicest red hair I've ever seen. I come from a family of redheads and I know a good one when I see it.”

It.

Now, what do you think I replied?

What would you say in this situation? I know similar folks have come up to you and commented on your appearance. What did you do?

Tell me in the comments.

Let's chat about strangers saying inappropriate things to us out in the world!

(My Substack is the safest online space I know; there are only a few dozen of us nerds reading this, and we're all pretty amazing.)